Dear Pat Robertson...

Just so you are aware - I do not now, nor shall I ever have any plans to 'shut my mouth' with regard to LGBT equality, as you have so eloquently requested. And while I cannot speak for each individual involved in the activist community at large, my educated guess would be that they, too, will refuse your rather obnoxious demand. 
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For those of you who are not familiar with his request, here is a link to the story. Essentially, our good buddy Pat got so upset about advocates at several universities petitioning to oust Chic-fil-A from their campus, that he called upon the LGBT demonstrators/population to either "bring forth a baby from that part of the anatomy they concentrate on", or "shut their mouths". 

I'll admit, I'm a tad confused. I was unaware that babies were born to any individual out of their heart. I mean - that is the part of the anatomy we focus the most on, after all...oh, wait. I forgot - Mr. Robertson and his ilk only think of the actual s-e-x act when they think of us and our relationships. My mistake. 

Okay then, that makes sense...except...wait a minute. I am a lesbian, and have actually brought forth two babies (albeit out the window instead of the door, since I had to have c-sections). So...does that mean I'm supposed to be concentrating on my stomach? And what about the cis women* who are lesbians or bisexuals, and have had vaginal deliveries? Are they exempt? Or infertile couples? Older couples? Should hetero- and homosexual cis men* just be tossed out altogether since they physically cannot conceive and 'bring forth' children at all? And don't even get me started on what to do with trans men* who have had vaginal deliveries - I'm pretty sure that would make Patty's head explode.

I'm so lost. I think essentially what he was trying to say was unless you can poop a baby, you should shut your mouth. Which I agree would be a really cool trick, but I'm also quite doubtful that good ol' Pat could pull that off, himself. Which means he should shut his mouth. Now there's a sentiment I can wholeheartedly agree with.

Of course, he also had to pull out the tired and entirely irrelevant Leviticus passage, claiming that due to abortion and gay rights, the world is going to "vomit out its inhabitants". 

Short disclaimer: Just so we're clear - I am unapologetically pro-life. (I know, how very un-liberal of me). My stand has very little to do with religion and very much to do with scientific data, and it's just something about me you're going to have to deal with. Like my horrid housecleaning skills, or the fact that I have to have the toilet paper coming off the roll in one certain direction (from the top) or it ruins my whole day. Just part of the package.

Moving on..

So Patty-boy invoked the seemingly damning passage from Leviticus again - which I'm not quite sure has anything to do with pooping babies, incidentally - and tells the viewers,

"it is an abomination for a man to lie with a man as with a woman. It’s what it says. That is the moral law that God set forth and now we’ve got people at a university petitioning because somebody said I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman."

Well no, Mr. Robertson, on many counts. 

One, while I agree that the text of that particular passage does indeed say those words, it also says just a few lines down that it is an "abomination" to eat shellfish and wear fabric made of mixed linen. So the next time you sit down to that shrimp cocktail in your poly/rayon blend suit, make sure you are aware of the consequences. We'll save you a seat on the bus.

Two, should you actually apply the knowledge you should have about your own religion, that 'moral law' you speak of no longer applies, as Jesus came to abolish the law in the New Testament. Which is why no one is going around slapping crawfish out of people's hands or stripping them of their horribly sinful mixed-linen clothing. 

And three, the people at the university are not petitioning because someone said they believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. People can say that all day - that's their right. What they are petitioning was allowing a secular company on their campus that is taking secular, public monies and funneling them into various hate groups - one of which even supported the law to kill gays in Uganda - on the basis of personal religious beliefs. Bit of a difference, that. 

In reality, Dan Cathy did us a bit of a favor...we deserve to know where our fabulous gay dollars are going, and we retain the right to refuse to contribute to the very causes that seek to keep us as second-class citizens. And that's just what these activists were protesting and petitioning for - to keep that kind of company away from their school, and away from the people that either do not know or willfully ignore the impact their money is having when they buy those waffle fries. 

So frankly, my dear Patrickins, you lack the critical support data and the basic understanding of the topic necessary to give your little demand any power whatsoever.

Which is why I will restate my earlier position:

I will not now, nor at any time in the future 'shut my mouth', 'keep quiet', 'calm down', or any other euphemism for 'sitting down and taking it' you can come up with. 

I will continue to speak out. I will continue to educate. And I will continue to fight until we are granted the same rights, the same privileges, the same respect as our heterosexual peers. And I assure you, Mr. Robertson - neither you nor anyone else has what it takes to stop me.

But hey, if you happen to poop a baby anytime soon, let me know. I'll bring you a chicken sandwich.

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If you're unfamiliar with the terms I used in this blog, here is a little lesson:

*cis men: individuals whose biological sex is "male" and who experiences their gender and/or identifies as "male"

*cis women: individuals whose biological sex is "female" and who experiences their gender and/or identifies as "female" 

*trans man: an individual who was assigned a "female" sex at birth, but experiences their gender and/or identifies as "male"